What do you mean?
Are you sitting in the Victim Stool?
When we are working on helping you change your Tiny Story, you will often hear me talking about the Victim Stance or warning you to examine yourself to spot when you are sitting on the Victim Stool vs. the Creatress Throne.
NOTE: This is not referring to you being the victim of a crime or an attack. In that case, you are a victim of a situation, but you are not adopting a role.
So here’s what I mean by sitting on the Victim’s Stool:
We often believe that we are powerful when we protest. But what is the difference between protesting and complaining? Very often our protest is a complaint in disguise. There’s nothing wrong with complaining, but unless you take responsibility as a co-creator of your situation and take action, a complaint is just venting and often blaming.
We often blame others without realizing that we are giving away our power to change. The issue is not whether the others are responsible. The issue is that we cannot change others. We can only change ourselves. If all you do is blame others, you are disempowering yourself. You can blame, complain and vent all you like. But if that is your Primary Response (immediate and consistent) to all your troubles, you are definitely sitting on the Victim Stool. Why? Because you are not seeing yourself as a co-creator and taking responsibility for your steps in that dance. As a result you cannot change it. The only steps you can change is your response. But in changing that response you change the situation.
I see people often defend themselves just because they are perceiving that they are being attacked when in reality it is their Victim Stance that is creating the attack. Then they defend themselves by attacking others –who are not really attacking them! The irony is that as they see themselves as victims they are really the abusers!
Finally, know the difference between being oppressed and being the victim. You may be oppressed by circumstances or other people. But you are only a victim when you cooperate with that oppression by seeing yourself as powerless and giving your power away to the others.
Want to know more about this?
Ask me a question in the comment box.
Subscribe to receive my Weekly Blog Digest