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Mar 092013
Reading Time: 5 minutes

Your body: from appearance to experience

Celebrate Women’s History Month

What I wish my Mother

had Told me

About Being a Woman

Part 2:

From Appearance

to Experience


I’ve been wandering about all the things I’ve learned in my life that my mom did not teach me because she herself did not know. Last week I talked about the power of occupying your space in the world. Today I’ll reveal Secret of Female Power No. 2: Take possession of your body.

This is a series on the Secrets of Female Power for Women’s History Month, at the rate of one per week. This is the first article. Read the others here:


Secret of Female Power No. 2

Your body is the first territory of your existence. Take possession of your own body. Taking possession of your body means:

  • Listening to its wisdom instead of trying to control its appearance to please others.
  • Experiencing its truth as part of your self-intimacy.
  • Freeing its wild, organic being-in-the-world instead of taming your sexuality into a “sexy” standardize package.

Your body is the temple of your Soul. It is the expression of your life choices. It is the miraculous manifestation of your Spirit. It is awesome and has its own wisdom.Your body is an inner experience of life and self and an outer expression of your Soul. What it should never be is only an appearance.

It is normal to want to look good. It is creative to express yourself in colors, textures and to desire to look your best. But when your whole relationship with your body is to look at it as an appearance and worry about what others will say, then you are alienated from your BodySoul and from the unique experience of life your Soul enjoys. You are reduced to a voyeur of yourself. You are seeing yourself with other people’s eyes and your own experience and perception have been stolen.

Your Personal Truth

Your Personal Truth lives in your body. Tap into your body and you will discover:

  • Where there is stress in your life
  • Old pain you’ve been carrying
  • Memories that you’ve forgotten
  • Dreams that long to be born
  • What you truly want
  • What you really need
  • Your Unique Essence and Soul’s purpose
  • How you are out of alignment with your true nature
  • Your stance in life
  • Your amazing super-powers
  • The poetry, magic and passion living in you, waiting to sing you into blossoming

Body intimacy is the first step to self-intimacy and therefore the essential step to self-esteem. Your body is NOT about your appearance. It is about your experience of life. It is about you enjoying life in its physicality. About walking among the trees, swimming with the fish, flying in dance or song, going for it with your strong legs and reaching out to give and receive with your two arms.

Your beauty

Your beauty is about you irradiating your Unique Essence, not about being thin or looking like a supermodel whose image has been altered in Photoshop to look like a dead mannequin. Your physical beauty is an expression of your Soul’s beauty and your spirit’s radiance. It is the grace inherent in your wild, organic self dancing its truth in the physical world.

Your sexuality

Your sexuality is not about being “sexy” according to the standards of the fashion, beauty or pornographic industries that make millions off women while exploiting and disempowering us. Forget about being sexy. Go for being sexual.

Being sexual is about being in your body. Being joyful in your body. Being the wild, organic being you are. Listening to and honoring the needs and desires of you body. No, that’s not going to turn you into a slut. Those are the lies you’ve been told by those who have stolen your sexuality from you and then pressure you to be “sexy” for others.

Be sexual for yourself! Enjoy the warm strength of your thighs as you dance or climb rocks. Enjoy the grace of your body in dance. Enjoy your breasts, where the Goddess lives in beauty and power. Breathe deeply into them. Massage them. Kiss them when you shower and give thanks to them and the Goddess for being a woman. Enjoy your torso without shame for any of its features. Do exercises because you love yourself and want to be healthy, not to be thin so that others accept you. Celebrate your curves. Women have curves!

Reclaim your Space in the World

Even today in the 21st Century women are being shamed about their body and they are being sequestered from their bodies. The body becomes an enemy of the woman instead of her self-expression. Overthrow the diet regime that bounds your freedom!

Your body is the first territory of your being. It is the place of your physical existence. It is YOU.

Those patriarchal beliefs that pit body vs. spirit are not organic to you. They are the way women have been shamed for men’s objectification of the female body. Overthrow those lies.

Take back your body. Take back your beauty. Take back your sexuality. Take back your physical existence. Take back your right to be and to occupy space.

Occupy your space of power physically —not with protective fat or obsessive dieting— but by sitting, dancing, standing and walking in your full stature.

Don’t glue your upper arms to your torso, compressing your personal space. Allow space to breathe there. Open your arms and take space.

Open your legs and take space. You don’t have to be vulgar or seat like a man. But your HIPS take space, so TAKE it proudly and joyfully.

Give yourself permission to do what brings you pleasure and joy for yourself. Go dancing. Go walking. Go to a spa and receive a massage. Love your body and love yourself.

Your body is the first territory of your existence. When you are dispossessed from the inner experience of living in your body, you are evicted from your own physical existence.

Reclaim the right to take up space in this world.


Continue reading the Secret of Female Power No. 3 here, for the third week during Women’s History Month.



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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is a Sacred Storyteller and shaman who champions you to change your old limiting story to create the new story of your brilliance illuminating the world. She helps you awaken your magic, express your creative genius, embody your purpose and live your potential now.

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