The 5 Trouble Trapdoors- Trapdoor 3: Acceptance

There are 5  Trouble Trapdoors through which your Inner Thieves come and go as they sequester your happiness and evolution. Today I will share the third Trouble Trapdoor: Acceptance. Through this trapdoor the Inner Thieves can steal your Personal Freedom.

The Trouble Trapdoors

These trapdoors are nothing inherently evil. Quite the contrary. They are normal areas of life. That’s why it is so easy for the Inner Thieves to sequester your intention, energy and attention.

When they do, normal activities that are usually beneficial to your happiness and evolution, become fear-based acts that feed your Shadows and sabotage your best intentions.

Today I will share the second Trouble Trapdoor. In the next three days, I will share a trapdoor per day. Use the tabs at the top of the post to read about the other trapdoors.

Trouble Trapdoor No. 3: Acceptance

Whether to engage in it or repress it, to abuse it or depend on it, to seek it from a place of emotional hunger or to reject or avoid it in judgment; acceptance is the third trapdoor through which the Inner Thieves come and go, sabotaging your happiness and growth.

Humans are social animals. We need to belong, to have a community, a pack. And in order to belong to a pack, we need to feel accepted among its members. Acceptance begins with the family as the first experience of community and expands to include our classmates and neighborhood, our racial and cultural group, our nation and the world.

Without belonging a human being cannot survive long because we are interdependent. The child instinctively knows this. To be accepted by mom and dad, grandma and uncles is to survive. To be scolded, shamed, rejected is dangerous. It means that she could be left alone, and she cannot survive in this new world alone.

But beyond survival, a child needs love. We need to feel loved and to love. It is a deep, soul and emotional need. Belonging and acceptance are intrinsic to satisfy this need. The experience that allows us to satisfy the need to be loved is the experience of Unconditional Love from our parents.

Unfortunately, few of us have this experience because generation after generation children are conditionally loved and therefore do not know how to love unconditionally.

This leads to the many dysfunctional ways in which we desperately need acceptance:

• Perfectionism
• Body-image struggles
• Dysfunctional relationships
• Attachment to people-pleasing
• Caretaking (compulsive caregiving)
• Attachment to our Personal History and inability to change in order to embody our potential
• Acquiescing to peer pressure or bullying, to naysayers and critics who discourage us
• Self-alienation through other-centered living to the point that we are living our life for others
• Consumerism and other attempts to have more or better in order to be accepted

Through these dysfunctional ways of relating to self, others and the world, the Inner Thieves use the Trouble Trapdoor of dysfunctional acceptance  to steal:

1. The power of our emotions to connect us to the flow of life
2. Self-direction
3. Self-acceptance
4. Self-loyalty
5. Life purpose
6. Mastery of your attention, energy and intention
7. Manifestation and the creation of the life you want, and
8. Personal freedom

 Action Tips

1. Examine your life to find the areas in which you are not doing what makes you genuinely happy and fills your soul and heart in order to fill other’s expectations or to focus on other people’s needs (other than your children, of course, though you may be doing it there too in unnecessary ways.)
2. Schedule a Me-day every week to do whatever you want to do at the time, along or with others. But everthing must be centered around what makes you happy. A Me-day can avoid a Mayday!

Resources

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