Family Holiday Ceremony

 Presence is the True Holiday Present

The other day in the elevator I asked a neighbor how Christmas was going. Oh boy! His shoulders slumped down with weight and he made a grimace.

~ “That bad?” I asked.

~ “Everyone’s expecting gifts and things are not like they were,” he said.

I’m going to share with you what I told him… and a bit more.

Our PRESENCE is the present.

We need to come back to the sacredness of the holidays as a celebration of our life, of our sacred families, of love and giving. But giving is not about buying, rushing around, consuming. It is about coming together in a ceremony to celebrate each other’s presence in our life.

I’ve done ceremonies with families where the kids grow up and years later they still remember that ceremony when their parents, siblings and cousins shared with them how much they meant to them, the gifts that they saw in them, gave them thanks for being in their lives and name what their presence brought to their lives.

These same young people could not remember what gifts they got what year.

We are using buying presents as a placebo for celebrating each others’ presence.

STOP! Return to the heart of the Holidays. Less rush and more love.

A Holiday Ceremony

The spirit of the Holiday Ceremony is to let each other know how our presence is a present for each other. The true present is Naming. This is a Naming Ceremony.

I’ll give you a version that is good for up to 12 people.

1. The group gathers around the tree or whatever symbol you use for your holidays.

2. Then you place all names in a hat and the youngest person selects the names from the hat.

3. The person selected sits on a chair at the center of the circle.

4. One by one, each participant approaches this person and tells them the gift that their presence brings into their life. Example: “I love your laughter. You help me enjoy life.” or “You listen without judgment and I feel understood when you listen.” or “You always see the blessings in situations.” etc.

5. It is important that we celebrate the Essence and Presence, not the things they do for us. For example; instead of “You cook great meals for us,” you could say “you create home for us and make us feel that we belong and that we are loved while you nurture our bodies.” Instead of “you were there for me when I was in the hospital,” you could say: “You make me feel safe because I know I can depend on you if I need you. You are always there, like a rock, a foundation.”

6. The round repeats for each person, until everyone is named.

OPTIONAL.

• If you all agree before-hand, then each person can create a hand-made symbol, drawing, collage or a card with the words of the naming written down.

• This is made by the participants for each other as a souvenir of what they named in each other.

• This adds the element of the time and energy you spent doing something special, plus the person can look at it later and remember.

You already got presents?

Enrich the present-exchange moment by combining it with this ceremony. Simply add the present to the moment of naming.

Santa’s Workshop

… and for next year, become Santa Claus and create a present-making workshop where your family members make each other’s presents. You’ll see how unforgettable those presents become!

Happy Holidays!

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