Heart-to-heart or Toxic Encounter?

Read Article 1 and Article 2 of this 4-part series.

Heart-to-heart or Toxic Encounter?

You are facing a shocking, unexpected and thoroughly undeserved response to your innocent comment. You’ve done your soul-search and track down the dynamics and you feel that this response does not match the vibration of love that you sent out to this person. What now?

If you truly came from a place of love and were mindful, and the response seems utterly inappropriate, you may have stepped into a person’s Toxic Field or you may be facing a Toxic Person. In either case, how do you know if you are having a heart-to-heart or a toxic encounter?

None of us is perfect. Everyone has Breaking Point—places where the fabric of our being has been thinned out, broken or mishandled. The problem is that if we are not aware of these Breaking Points and actively heal them, they become Toxic Fields. Anyone who steps into these fields gets “stung” by us.  We pour our defensive poison straight into the interaction, all the while feeling that we are the victims and are justifiably defending ourselves.

If, after examining your intentions and any carelessness in your communicaton, you still feel that this is a specially vicious and undeserved response, then you may be facing a Toxic Field in a normally healthy person or you may be facing a fully Toxic Person. Either way, there is a good chance that you are in a Toxic Encounter. What do you do?

Release the poison. The words we speak, our tone of voice, our true intention, our vibrations, emotions, and interactions —all these are energy exchanges. They carry particular vibrations that resonate, penetrate and transform your Energy Field, affecting you deeply.

The more emotional or survival investment you have in a relationship, the more these energy exchanges affect your own energy patterns. The more sensitive or wounded you are in certain areas of your life, the more these external energies can affect you in those areas.

Closing up defensively is not the solution. When you close-up you block the flow of life in you. That’s like punishing yourself for what someone else did.

What is the treatment with any poison? I’m no doctor, but the usual recommendations are:

• Stay still and calm. Agitation or nervousness spreads the poison more rapidly. It’s important that you do not react defensively or try to fix the encounter, or you will get caught in a never-ending Toxic Cycle.
• Then you need to suck off the poison. You need to release it from your system.
• Then you need to drink an antidote.

The first part of the treatment is Detachment. Step out of the Toxic Dance. It’s important that you do not react defensively or try to fix the encounter, or you will get caught in a never-ending Toxic Cycle.

Detachment also means to not allow the toxins in the reaction of the Toxic Person to enter your emotional or nervous stream. Simply release them from your being. To release the poison discharged in a toxin encounter, you need to acknowledge at a deep emotional level that the response of the other person has nothing to do with you and therefore, these toxic energies are not yours. Since they are not yours, you are not carrying them. Leave them in the air where they were traveling towards you. If you do not accept them, they will go back to the person to whom they belong.

Detachment is easy. Simply shift your attention like you shift your eyes to see something else. Lift up your emotions from this exchange. Imagine that you are lifting up a skirt to leap to another place. Gather your energies, attention and emotions, shake off your energy skirt, leaving the energies scattered in the space and leap to another place –a place that corresponds to your vibrational frequency.

If you cannot do this, then you have an attachment. If you insist in winning, you are part of the Toxic Dance. If you want to fix the problem instead of moving away from the dynamic, you are caught up in a dysfunctional dance because this encounter, poisonous as it is, is serving some need you have. It’s time to look at your own Breaking Points.

Detachment and Release allow you to stop focusing on fixing, winning, blaming and reacting and start focusing on your own hurt, your hunger and your needs. Only then will you be able to stop the steps that summon Toxic Encounters in your life.

Finally, the antidote you need to cancel the poison is unconditional love and acceptance for yourself. When you love yourself, you do not allow other people’s poisons to harm your beautiful self.

In our fourth and final article, Is it Love or Attachment?, you will find out what attachment is and how to free yourself from the shackles that keep you tied to dysfunctional relationships so that you can love in freedom and joy.

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