I remember Angie, the beautiful, magical child I was once. She would create poems and dances and organize participatory, creative events for the family reunions. Even before she could talk, she would get up on a big can of “Sultana” crackers and tell stories to the invisible crowd from her future life that only she could see.
I invite you to join my “I am my Dream Celebration” today by leaving your comments and sharing your stories. Here’s mine.
Through my inherited wounds and blows in life, Angie lost some of her creativity and luster, and she became a caretaker, someone who carried a lot of psychic weight as an atonement for being so happy and creative.
She lost her singing voice. She lost her visual art skills. She came to believe that she only had a right to do art if she was NOT enjoying it and if she focused on the problems. After all, that is what she saw everyone around her small world focusing on!
Though I never betrayed my creativity or my life’s purpose, I paid a heavy price for this. I became a workaholic “activist” and carried a lot of social weight, struggle, anger and caretaking into my theater experience, until in 1993 I burned out (literally embodied in the fire that consumed our venue!!) My Ancestors told me then: Healer, heal thyself. My shamanic initiation began.
My shamanic path and my healing journey have been about releasing the psychic weight and reclaiming all of my talents and gifts. I reclaimed my visual art and began doing beautiful participatory art installations, illustrations, book covers, website designs and graphics, sets and costumes. Wow! For a woman who said for years: “The only thing I can do with my hands is write, because I have no talent for visual arts” this was a big growth.
I healed my learned dysfunctions and beliefs, so that I began to create a theater that focused on beauty, on the solutions, on the experience of love and power, instead of drilling the audiences about the social problems. As I let go of focusing on the negative, while sustaining faith in our ability to heal, I also began attracting wonderful people to work with me creatively.
Now as I go on stage to tell sacred stories and walk the audience into a journey of transformation, I am touching the people that Angie already saw with her Seer’s eye. I am doing shamanic ceremonial theatre and storytelling, just like she practiced on top of that can of crackers!
And now, the last of the blockages has been removed. For years I could not sing due to what I call a “Family Curse” –wounds that are passed on for generations. Think about this: for more than 40 years I could not sing. I could not fly in melody. I could not repeat the same note patterns. I could not carry a tune. This was not due to being tune-deaf, because I wen to a specialist. It was emotional trauma and deep-seated beliefs. Nonetheless, I simply could not do it.
In the last years I have been releasing the obstacles to this last remnant of my inherited limitations. Finally, I am happy to say that in my last presentation, I sang in public for the first time in my life!!!
I heard the music for Tanya Torres’ beautiful poem “El Rio” (The River) inside me, and I allowed myself to sing it. Imagine what it has meant for me that many people in the audience came to me to thank me for the healing power of my voice!
Please join me today to celebrate that I have become whole, that I have released all my powers and talents, and that I am now living my dream, doing the art that I was meant to do. This was the vision Angie had long ago, the memory of her purpose. Now I am doing it: creating a community circle where people find magic, inspiration and healing through art and love. To be in that circle and enjoy my life (local and global) ceremonies, storytelling and shamanic journeys, join my tribe here.
Celebrate with me here today by leaving your comments about my story and sharing what you have accomplished, the talents and skills you have reclaimed and the dreams you are now living.
Let”s inspire each other through the gift of storytelling and the miracle we all are.
Light and Love,
The Dream Alchemist