Warning: Declaration of Suffusion_MM_Walker::start_el(&$output, $item, $depth, $args) should be compatible with Walker_Nav_Menu::start_el(&$output, $item, $depth = 0, $args = NULL, $id = 0) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/themes/suffusion/library/suffusion-walkers.php on line 0
Jun 022015
 
Naysayers, Haters, Mirrors and Messengers

Reading Time: 13 minutes Naysayers, Haters, Mirrors and Messengers
The other day I was watching a video by Jeff Walker. I love this person! He shines with authenticity and love, and he says it as it is. You can watch the video here.
I warn you that this is a long post, but if you offer or want to offer your gifts to the world, or if you have been held back by the fear of criticism, I promise that it is worth your while to read.
I agree with Jeff that one of the things that is holding many of us back is the fear of being rejected, judged, criticized and even “crucified” by others; especially by our loved ones ~but also by influential people or large groups.
That fear of criticism is like a barb-wire fence that blocks many paths to success, especially among women and Spiritual Creatives.
We all have been the victims of that horrific infestation: Gossip. We know what that does. It spreads like toxic gas even before you get to a place, and when you enter everyone is looking at you […]

Mar 312015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living: Day 6: Deadlines

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
and how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 6: Deadlines

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here. Get Day 4: Judgment here. Get Day 5: Povertizing here.

 
If you know how long it takes you to do something, you have a delivery date.
If you don’t know, lie to yourself or make yourself the prisoner of time, you have deadlines.
The name says it all: by the time you finish, you are dead.

Deadlines are a perception or interpretation of delivery dates that makes them artificial, aggressive, rigid and often downright insane.

Few industries truly need this. Newspapers were one of the industries were deadlines were part of the trade, but even they are disappearing today.

However, our entire culture has an addiction to deadlines and often creates unnecessary stress pushing towards these constructs.

As we talked in Day 2 about Rushing, if you create good systems and manage your time well, you can honor delivery dates without creating stress pushing yourself to meet deadlines.
But if you […]

Mar 242015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living-Day 5: Povertizing

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
and how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 5: Povertizing

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here. Get Day 4: Judgment here.

 
Povertization is the act of creating the conditions by which a sector of a population –let’s say women– are and stay poor.
Povertizing yourself as I use it in this series has to do with learned limiting beliefs that come out of your own early –or cultural– experience with money and that keep you from achieving financial freedom. It is one of the most powerful and pervasive forms of stress in one’s life and work.

Povertizing is the secret denial of money, wealth and financial freedom that we embed in our priorities, choices, interpretations and practices.

Povertizing may take the form of splitting what you love to do from how you earn your money, so that you have to work more to get money.
It may take the form of not maximizing the income you can get from what you do.
It may also be seen […]

Mar 172015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living-Day 4: Judgment

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
And how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 4: Judgment

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here.

 
Judgment is the cousin of guilt and shame. It is the aunt of resistance and control addiction. It is sister to the dutifying of life.
Judgment once came from your elders or culture. Now you internalized those voices, and you are constantly judging yourself and feeling inadequate or declaring yourself guilty.
You add injury to this inadequacy by trying to control your results, your work or your life in order to make it look like you think it should be —which is usually the same as what you think that others think that it should be. The result is cheer misery.

If there is one thing you should abolish in your life to be free, this thing is judgment. Stop judging yourself and you will soon stop judging others. Judgment is unnecessary and inefficient. It alienates but it does not explain, solve or change anything.

Judgment may take the form […]

Nov 072014
 
Is this your biggest flaw?

Reading Time: 3 minutes Is this your biggest flaw?
Are you so scared of not being perfect
that you are pushing your allies away?
 
I know a woman who is extraordinary. She single-handedly accomplishes every year achievements beyond what most others do in a lifetime.
She complains that she does everything with great effort, alone, without support.
But here’s what she does not WANT to know:
Her biggest flaw is that she does not want to have flaws.
When anyone points a mistake to her, she gets outraged.
For her, that is the same as threatening her identity.
So she attacks the person relentlessly. Anything the other person says becomes in her eyes an attack, so she defends herself.
The truth is that she is the one doing the attacking. Every time she believes she is being attacked, she is just being told something that she is not seeing and that —if she would let it in, would solve her problems.
But instead, she sees that critique or observation as an attack on her identity.
Why?
Because she believes that in order to be truly worthy of love, success, basically anything, really… she must be perfect. As […]

Mar 072014
 
Self-value attracts people who value you

Reading Time: 12 minutes I once heard a phrase in a movie that is probably borrowed from somewhere else, but it made me smiled with one of those bittersweet smiles we draw when something is painfully true.
“I don’t respect anyone who respects me”
 
Funny eh?… and terrible.

Do you secretly believe “I don’t respect anyone who respects me?” Find out!
Click To Tweet

Yet I’ve seen it time and again.

A client sees the expert as a guru… until the expert works with her and praises her value and tells her that she has something extraordinary to give. Then somehow the expert loses her glow and the client wonders if she’s trustworthy!
A writer longs to find her Tribe, but when people start buying and writing good reviews, she starts secretly despising or at least disbelieving these readers.
A woman longs to find a man who values her, and the moment a date cherishes her, the woman begins to get bored or to feel his lame.

Are you smiling? Probably you have that same bittersweet smile on!
You smile perhaps from recognition and certainly because it is ironic and so human.
Your smile has […]


Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_show - assumed 'd3_show' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 142

Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_layout - assumed 'd3_layout' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 383

Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_site_code - assumed 'd3_site_code' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 395

Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_backfill - assumed 'd3_backfill' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 396

Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_language - assumed 'd3_language' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 396

Warning: Use of undefined constant d3_module_intro - assumed 'd3_module_intro' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/mariamar.com/public_html/wp-content/plugins/degree3-qa/degree3qna.php on line 396