Celebrate Women’s History Month

What I wish my mother

had told me about being a woman

Part 4: Wearing your Unique Gifts

I’ve been wandering about all the things I’ve learned in my life that my mom did not teach me because she herself did not know. Today I’m sharing the 4th Secret on Female Power that I want all my sisters to know deep in their heart and fully embody each day. It’s about knowing in your heart and in every fiber of your body the unique gifts and value you bring to your relationships.

This is a series on the Secrets of Female Power for Women’s History Month, at the rate of one per week. This is the fourth article. Read the others here:

• Women’s History Month-What I wish my mother had told me
• Women’s History Month-From Appearance to Experience
• Women’s History Month-Heart-based Female Leadership
• Women’s History Month-Wearing your Unique Gifts
• The Goddess Circle

Secret of Female Power No. 4

Know in your heart and in every fiber of your body the unique gifts and value you bring to ALL your relationships.

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Many women “know” their worth. But they know this only at an intellectual level. That is not enough.

The intellect guides only a small aspect of our lives and decisions. 95% or more of our responses to life happen automatically in our subconscious mind. Therefore, women must have their unique gifts and value embedded in their hearts, without a  doubt. If you’ve read the previous articles on the series, you know where the doubt comes from. So it befalls on each woman as part of our evolution as women, humans and leaders to “wear” our true value.

The Maiden Belt

Know the gifts that you bring into relationship. There is a shamanic ritual called the Maiden Belt. It is a belt that the maiden creates before marrying. In that belt, she represents the Female Gifts and unique talents that she brings into the marriage. Women, even modern western women today, badly need to pick up this ritual.

Here’s why.

The Invisible Mommy

Mommy does the dishes, cooks the food, sweeps the floors and cares for the children. Still, in most marriages this is how it goes. In some, the man “helps” mommy. In very, very few it is truly seen and done as an equal opportunity job.

Mommy does not receive compensation for any of this. Everyone in the culture and community agrees that this is mommy’s priority. So if she can’t do it well, then everyone agrees she should quit her job. Because, of course, she can’t quit her children!

If you have not read the discussion around Sari Sierra’s death, then step into a related conversation here.

Daddy, however, is a man (usually). He is seen as the “bread-winner” (which can bring its own problems, too.) Men are seeing in our society, even today, as having a life outside the family; a life and space of their own in the world. They have a purpose, a job, skills and experience. They are firefighters, architects or doctors first. Then they are a daddy and husband. That’s how the world sees men, even if they don’t feel this way themselves! In other words, men’s life purpose as human beings is given priority in the world over their role in the family.

But still now, when women are presidents of countries, society prioritizes their role in the family above their purpose as a human being. In part, this is because of the Secret of Female Power No. 3, because women are the heart of the hearth. But to a great degree it is due to the way we have structured society, so that there is no support for the family or the mother, which lives modern women with the weight of two worlds.

What happens to a woman who had her job and career or was embodying her life purpose and serving humanity; and then marries?

• She is going to experience gradual invisibility in most of what she accomplishes during her day as a mother or wife.
• She is going to experience pressure to do more and perform more as a housewife, wife and mother, daughter and daughter-in-law.
• In all of these hats, she will do her best and spend hours every day.
• But she will not be named, valued, paid, appreciated, recognized or celebrated for those tasks at a social level (except for Mother’s day, etc.).
• Meanwhile, her unique gifts may begin to take second place. When does she do her art or crafts, her music, her philosophical reflections or hones her unique talents and passions? When does she take up her causes? Is she “neglecting” her children or husband if she takes time for these?

Her new duties as mother and wife will be expected to take priority, but they will not be as valued as the contributions she was making or still makes to the world. Her individuality as a human being with unique talents, passions and causes that shape the evolution of humanity may now take a back seat, and she begins to disappear as an individual.

How does this make a woman feel? Perhaps something like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde with a mop for the murder weapon!

Praise, value and social commentary

If a man washes dishes once, he often feels proud of his contribution. But in many cases, the woman washes the dishes every day and she only feels overwhelm. Why?

“Oh, he’s a good husband. He even washes the dishes!” everyone will say.

But she won’t get a word of praise.

Instead, she will be seen as a “bad mother or wife” if she gives priority to her purpose in the world and lets the dishes pile.

She will be expected to sacrifice her own happiness, time and purpose as a human being because her “true” purpose is within the domestic sphere.

If a woman does not “wear” her true value and gifts strongly, she will give into this social pressure and will become invisible to herself in her magnificence.

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And that is when a woman begins to wilt and her Soul withers.

And this is also when others stop valuing her and take her for granted. Because —and I know this hurts, but you better learn it while you still have a chance— others will value and treat you as well or as badly as you value and treat yourself.

Wearing your Gifts Strongly

So women must know, name, value and carry our unique gifts and powers in a psychic belt or pouch, embedded in each fiber of our being. Why?

• So that we never give ourselves for granted.
• So that we know our value and can negotiate around time, shores and energy.
• So that we can prioritize what is important to the Self without guilt or shame
• But above all, so that we know in our hearts and in every fiber of our being the powerful, unique gifts that we bring into the world as well as the gifts we bring to the marriage and family unit.

Knowing the value she brings to ALL her relationships allows a woman to wear all her hats without losing her head!

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I hope you liked this series!

These are the four pillars of Female Power that I want to share with you beautiful sisters. Celebrate your history. Celebrate your Presence in the world. Know your value deep within your heart!

Here’s another article you may love: How to Own your Value

Advanced Resources

Would you like my guidance to tap into your unique talents and gifts, own your value and perform a ceremony with it? Then book a:

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