Are you playing small? What you should know!
Learn why you feel that you are not good enough, why you are playing small, feel that you are not ready yet or keep holding back when you want to step into your greatness.
In the Pillar Article What is Story Alchemytm, you discovered that very early on in life you inherited or created Story Fields for almost every aspect of your life.
You learned that this Story Fields are just like the stories your mom told you when you were a child. They have the 5Ws: who, what, where, when and why. You understood that the reason why you are full of old hidden stories is because that’s the way your brain makes sense of and stores reality. Once these stories are stored, you learned that they become blueprints that you apply to any similar current reality, distorting the present and limiting your possibilities.
When you are playing small
Now we are going to look at what happens when you envision your BIG dream or when you want to embody your life purpose or perhaps when you long to share your beautiful gifts with the world… and immediately you feel tiny, insignificant or stupid.
Perhaps you don’t feel insufficient. But rather you begin to think that you are not ready, that you need another credential, more experience or to fix some flaw that somehow stands on the way of you expressing your gifts.
In fact, what happens to you right now when you hear the phrase “step into your greatness?”
What feelings do you have?
- Do you feel that this is not about you because you have no greatness?
- Do you feel confused or disoriented, as if the conversation suddenly changed the subject and no longer refers to you?
- Do you feel intimidated?
- Do you think “What greatness?”
- Do you get angry and begin to ramble with phrases such as “That’s such a cliché!” or “What’s all this mumbo-jumbo about greatness?”
You are not alone. Most of us do not recognize our power as influencers. I work with artists, innovators, Creatives and Female Leaders and when I call them “influencers” they often look at me like I just grew another head!
They know that their books inspire people, their teachings shape future citizens, their ideas are innovative… and yet they cannot step into the shows of those who change the world!
Most of us are trapped in a small version of our identity, a version I called Tiny Self.
This identity is created with our Tiny Story aka Limiting Story Field. When we learned that we could not make a living from our gifts or that we could not be as famous as our favorite hero or that people from our (fill in the blanks: race, ethnicity, class, gender, abilities) could not be successful.
With this —sometimes overt but often unspoken—Tiny Stories our true nature shrinks until we are convinced that we are that Tiny Self trapped in that Tiny Story —that now becomes our world.
From then on, it is our greatness that sounds preposterous. It is our vast potential that seems unreal.
But the soul knows. Your soul calls you to your potential like the sun calls the bird to sing.
- If I tell you that sharing your gifts with the world can change the world, do you cringe?
- If I tell you that your message, book or system can save thousands of life, inspire millions of people or change the way our generation thinks, do you snort cynically?
Let’s flip this attitude.
I’m taking my Flip Wand out and casting the spell:
Flippity flip flap flit
Pull this by the feet.
Zap Zippity Zed
Turn this on its head!
The Infinite Self
You are born with an umbilical cord connected to your Birth Mother. Of course, you know this!
What you may not know or may have forgotten is that you are also born with an energy cord connecting you to The Field.
You can see The Field as the Field of Infinite Possibilities, the Unifying Field or simply as Oneness. Or you can choose to see it as The Divine.
This energy cord has been recognized and recorded by shamans and dreamers. It is the cord through which Dreamtime work and Astral Traveling is done. The cord pulls you back into your body at the end of the dream journey.
Your Energy Body is also infinite. It begins with your Etheric Body and expands into your Emotional, Mental and Astral Energy Bodies. It goes on to the Etheric Template and keeps going until it merges with Oneness.
The knowledge that the Self does not end with the confines of your individuality is why the Mayan shamans salute others with the words: “In Lak’ech Ala K’in,” which means I am another yourself (A modern interpretation). It also means “I am you, and you are me” (A traditional Mayan interpretation).
You have an energy cord to Oneness because you are born from that Greatness and that infinitely unfolding universe into a tiny body, a particular culture and a historical moment. But The Divine never let go of you. You are still connected. You are still part of the universe.
In fact, you are a drop of divinity falling onto earth to rain your gifts upon your generation.
You are born —a vast potential with multiple natural talents and potential skills— into a particular family, a specific time and culture and a tiny body that must be fed and taught how the world works.
As soon as you are born these three elements —body, family and culture— begin to interact, dressing your Infinite Self in the colors, textures and shapes of your environment.
Is your world simply a Tiny Room from your past?
At this point of your growth your true nature as an infinite unfolding energy being begins to fade away from your consciousness until you can only see as Self the dress you have been given.
This dress becomes your Primary Identity. It is made of stories you are told over and over.
They tell you that…
- …You are intelligent, hard-working and a good daughter. So you believe it and attach your sense of self to these qualities. These become “virtues” –therefore making mistakes threatens your identity, you do not take vacations and you do not realize that “good daughter” meant obedient, and it’s killing you!
- …You are stubborn, lazy and “crazy” with all your weird ideas. So you attach your sense of self to these definitions —even when you later learn and intellectually know that the “weirdness” is your Creative Genius.
- …You are stupid, a big mouth, a rebel and disobedient. So you believe it and attach your sense of self to these qualities. You constantly berate yourself for speaking up –which is actually one of your strengths– and you respond with resistance and rebellion –and immediately with self-recrimination. There’s a war going on inside you, and it’s all due to these labels!
- …You will not amount to much because… (fill in the blanks) and you believe it. This Tiny Story becomes part of your identity.
- …You have to get a 9 to 5 job and work for a corporation because you cannot live from your creativity. So this becomes your reality. And here you are, in a job you hate, doing your creativity as a hobby… and hating every minute of it!
Your Set Points: The edge of the world?
It is not that you are too small for greatness.
It is that your sense of self has shrunk to fit the Tiny Story you have learned.
After years of identifying with these Tiny Stories, they become the invisible walls of your prison. They create Set Points that you do not see, but which you cannot break. These Set Points can be about how much you can earn, how far you can go in life, how much support you can expect or anything else. Look at where you are stuck and you will bump into your invisible Set Points!
Since you cannot see the learned limits in these Set Points, you believe they are the edge of the world.
This is the psychic architecture of your Tiny Story that keeps you trapped in the Limiting Story Fields installed in your subconscious mind.
But you don’t see them, so you believe that the Psychic Fence in that old Story Field is the end of your possibilities.
But the Tiny Story is the REAL problem you are facing.
This is the story beneath the story of you not being creative, not deserving a raise, having to stay in a dull job, not sharing your gifts with the world… not having any greatness to step into!
The REAL story is that you were born great
and the Tiny Stories you inherited shrunk your true stature!
Food for Thought:
Get out your own Flip Wand and flip your playing small! Write a one minute stream of consciousness where your dreams, gifts and potential are your REAL you. Where you ARE already your greatness, and your limitations are a dress you just took off. What are you like? What is your life like?
NEXT: What you should know about that talent you long for
You know that gift you have been longing to have since forever? How about that talent you lovingly envy your friends for? And that beautiful genius you so admire in your favorite star? There is something you are missing when you long for these gifts, something important that you need to know.
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