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Aug 062015
 
Drowning in Overwhelm-No Time for Friends?

Reading Time: 2 minutes Drowning in Overwhelm:
No Time for Friends?
 

It’s been a while since my last post. I had to take a break from posting seven days a week. As I gave myself that space to finish my novel and catch up with projects that were dragging, I also took time to be with friends.
That’s when I heard it for the first time. “I’m drowning” I’m too overwhelmed to deal with anything else” “I’m too busy to be with my friends.” It suddenly hit me…
The way of friendship is changing.
It’s not a change I like at all.
People are so busy that they can hardly take time to be with their friends.
I realized that in years past I would talk on the phone with my friends almost every day. I’d see them almost every week. I knew what was going on in their lives. We share our pain and our pleasure. We were there for each other’s ordeals.
And now, the phone rarely rings with a call from a friend.
It’s beyond ironic. It’s tragic that now that we have email, we rarely write each […]

Mar 312015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living: Day 6: Deadlines

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
and how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 6: Deadlines

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here. Get Day 4: Judgment here. Get Day 5: Povertizing here.

 
If you know how long it takes you to do something, you have a delivery date.
If you don’t know, lie to yourself or make yourself the prisoner of time, you have deadlines.
The name says it all: by the time you finish, you are dead.

Deadlines are a perception or interpretation of delivery dates that makes them artificial, aggressive, rigid and often downright insane.

Few industries truly need this. Newspapers were one of the industries were deadlines were part of the trade, but even they are disappearing today.

However, our entire culture has an addiction to deadlines and often creates unnecessary stress pushing towards these constructs.

As we talked in Day 2 about Rushing, if you create good systems and manage your time well, you can honor delivery dates without creating stress pushing yourself to meet deadlines.
But if you […]

Mar 242015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living-Day 5: Povertizing

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
and how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 5: Povertizing

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here. Get Day 4: Judgment here.

 
Povertization is the act of creating the conditions by which a sector of a population –let’s say women– are and stay poor.
Povertizing yourself as I use it in this series has to do with learned limiting beliefs that come out of your own early –or cultural– experience with money and that keep you from achieving financial freedom. It is one of the most powerful and pervasive forms of stress in one’s life and work.

Povertizing is the secret denial of money, wealth and financial freedom that we embed in our priorities, choices, interpretations and practices.

Povertizing may take the form of splitting what you love to do from how you earn your money, so that you have to work more to get money.
It may take the form of not maximizing the income you can get from what you do.
It may also be seen […]

Mar 172015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living-Day 4: Judgment

Reading Time: 4 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
And how to Live and Work Stress Free:
Day 4: Judgment

This is a series of six articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here. Get Day 3: Dutifying here.

 
Judgment is the cousin of guilt and shame. It is the aunt of resistance and control addiction. It is sister to the dutifying of life.
Judgment once came from your elders or culture. Now you internalized those voices, and you are constantly judging yourself and feeling inadequate or declaring yourself guilty.
You add injury to this inadequacy by trying to control your results, your work or your life in order to make it look like you think it should be —which is usually the same as what you think that others think that it should be. The result is cheer misery.

If there is one thing you should abolish in your life to be free, this thing is judgment. Stop judging yourself and you will soon stop judging others. Judgment is unnecessary and inefficient. It alienates but it does not explain, solve or change anything.

Judgment may take the form […]

Feb 242015
 
6 Elements of Stressful Living and how to Live and Work Stress Free: Day 1: Pushing

Reading Time: 3 minutes 6 Elements of Stressful Living
and how to Live and Work Stress Free
Day 1: Pushing
Pushing is about forcing yourself to meet deadlines, to overwork, to do more than you can or to do what you don’t want to do.
Unless you are referring to a shopping cart, pushing is not the way to roll.

Pushing injures the fabric of life.
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Have you tried to cut a piece of fabric or wood against the grain? Everything shatters. You have to put more effort for a lesser quality of result. Pushing is going against the grain of your being or against the grain of life or of a situation.
Unless it’s the moment when the baby shows the crown of its head, if you feel compelled to push in a situation, you are probably using excess force.

Aggressiveness is highly overrated.
Click To Tweet

There is some effort needed in certain moments to break inertia; but other than that, moving along the grain accomplishes better results faster.
If you feel that you have to push, one or more of these things may be going on:

You […]

Sep 232014
 
Multipotentiality Rocks!

Reading Time: 3 minutes This blog is part of the PuttyFest: A Celebration of Multipotentiality
 
Multipotentiality Rocks!

It all started … well, when I was born, I guess. But for the story’s sake let’s say that it all started when I went to college. Until then I was “just me.”
I did not have to choose between writing poetry and studying human nature; being in the drama club or taking dance classes. I did it all because I loved it all.
But now I “had” to choose. Would I be an actress or a writer? A dancer or an actress? Would I study psychology or literature?
And even as a writer, I was somehow supposed to choose if I was a poet or a fiction writer. Even then I had to choose if I was a novelist, short story writer. Then I had to narrow it down to a genre: would I write fantasy, mystery, fables and so on. If I chose fantasy, that was not enough specialization, either. I had to choose what type of fantasy I would write. Would it be urban fantasy, epic fantasy or…
The prospects […]


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