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Mar 102015
Reading Time: 3 minutes

6 Elements of Stressful Living

and how to Live and Work Stress Free:

Day 3: Dutifying


This is a series of 6 articles. Get Day 1: Pushing here. Get Day 2: Rushing here.



Cinderella-Servant-collegefashionIn any job or task, there are aspects you may not like but you need to do.

Writing is my passion, but I need to do proofreading and formatting before the book is ready for press. Sometimes I can delegate it, but sometimes I can’t.

But when you forgo pleasure, intuition, joy and peace to attach yourself to a sense of duty created by others; then you are your own oppressor. You are creating constant stress that sips into the very fiber of your being.

Dutifying make take the form of doing what others say you are supposed to do, even though you don’t like it or it may not work for you.

For example, I spent years learning how to be an entrepreneur, but the rules others were following did not seat well with me. I could see the sense on each rule. But the harder I tried, the more stress I picked up… and they still did not work.

Finally I stop dutifying my life purpose and business and created a structure to place what I love to do, writing and telling stories, at the center of my offers. It was like breaking a set of heavy chains!

You can get a coach that tells you to do things in a certain way and that way is good for the coach and many clients; but if it does not resonate with you, don’t force it. Seek a new model or adapt those around you to your needs.

It is better to spend some time exploring, even if you fail here and there; than forcing yourself to do things “as you are supposed to” though they obviously do not work for you.

Stop Dutifying!

The Divine gave you an in-built compass to find your way. It is delight.

When you do something that blisses you out, you “bend” time and your feel ecstatic. This is the opposite of stress.

When you do what you love you release the Bliss Hormones: endorphins, dopamine and oxytocin. Not only your stress is gone, but you promote health and longevity. Way to go!

In the example above, writing stories is my Ecstatic Work. My dutifying takes the form of me spending more time with technical problems, proofreading and formatting than I do with writing. That dampens my fire, and at the end of a month in that trance, I am unmotivated, exhausted, cranky and inefficient.

That’s why I set aside Fridays for my writing day. I may write on Monday and Wednesday, but there may be other things in-between. But on Friday I write all day. I bliss out and get a lot of writing done. That makes me very happy and I have a great weekend, which starts me off very well for the next week.

I call this setting Sacred Time. Set aside Sacred Time for your delight, your talent, your Ecstatic Work. Don’t give up this time for anything. As long as you are doing what you love, what you came here to do; then you can do other duties without becoming a slave to duty.

Women are very vulnerable to dutifying their lives because we have that “mother gene” and are trained to take care of others. Our Herstory trained us to “do as told” and to meet others’ demands in order to survive. Our strong need to be accepted may push us to meet others’ expectations. We may also have been domesticated into being the “good girl.”

For all these reasons, as a woman you need to be extra aware of what makes you happy, what brings delight to you, what is your Ecstatic Work, and honor it in your life and in your time.




This is a series of 6 articles.

Next Tuesday: Day 4: Judgment

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How do you dutify your life or work?  Any ideas on how to stop pushing that have worked for you? Feel free to share on the comments below!

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is a Sacred Storyteller and shaman who champions you to change your old limiting story to create the new story of your brilliance illuminating the world. She helps you awaken your magic, express your creative genius, embody your purpose and live your potential now.

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