Monday Meditation: Single? Love Yourself Unconditionally

Monday Meditation

I’m an elder and I have lived and loved magically, freely and passionately. Like a ripe fruit, love has yielded its delicious essence and poured it abundantly into my heart.  Today I want to share one of three secrets that love has often whispered and and sometimes roared into my heart.

At the same time, I am a baby boomer who started youth as a feminist, a child of divorced parents and a woman wounded by the arrows of 20^th century biases and traumas around love and gender. This personal herstory has left deep imprints that I’ve had to lovingly, painfully remove, like long sharp splinters embedded in my heart.

These splinters harden the female heart with lonely beliefs that pit love against freedom, independence or personal power. Our fear shows up in each love story and gives it the same painful ending until we stop believing in happy endings and romance. Though I still believe in romance, my fears and defensiveness has often gone to battle with my romantic, sensual nature. Unfortunately, it has often won.

My heart has been broken often. Not only by romantic love, but by filial or family love, friendly love and most frequently by my own faltering self-love.

But in each heart break I have noticed a recurrent story. I am suddenly thrown into a situation that breaks my heart. The pain seems unbearable. My heart is stabbed, pierced, shattered and finally broken. The agony is excruciating. I think I’m going to die of heartbreak. But I don’t. Instead, something different happens. My heart is cleansed, renewed, remodeled and expanded into a higher frequency of love.

I have finally understood what love is telling me at the moment of heartbreak. It is showing me something that I did not want to see about my own capacity to love and be loved, to give and receive and to be fully me and fully alive and awaken or to put away pieces of me in order to be accepted, loved or safe.

In my 20s I used to chase love with the same desperation that I rejected it. The battle between love and freedom was part of it. But the larger army in this battle was my utter lack of self-love. I spent my energy defending myself from ghost attacks, mirages of the self-attacks I perpetrated daily against my vulnerability, sensuality and deep empathy. And sure enough, the Men Mirrors showed me again and again how I was devaluing and trampling over my heart.

The Love Hunger

If you long for love so bad that it hurts, this is not the moment to search for it out there. Or if you do, understand that it’s not about there being no “good men out there.” What is happening is that you are meeting your Sacred Masculine in the men you attract.

A good self-love practice for you right now is to understand how your Sacred Masculine responds to your Sacred Feminine.

• Does your logical mind honor your heart?
• Do your skill and choices serve your Soul’s desires?
• Do you listen as much as you talk? Do you listen to yourself? Your BodySoul?
• Do you receive as much as you give?
• Do you feel beautiful, lovable and valuable?
• Do you nurture your creativity and trust your intuition?
• Do you value your vulnerability or are you constantly hardening up against it?

Vulnerability is the power to dive into your loss to find your love.

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Read the full article at: Be Your Own Valentine Issue No. 3 of the Butterfly You! Magazine

This is an excerpt from the Featured article in the Be Your Own Valentine Issue No. 3 of the Butterfly You! Magazine

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