Four Steps to
Create the Life you Want in the New Year
How often do you hear yourself saying things like:
- “I have to do this work in order to make a living.”
- “I’d love to be doing X (your passion or purpose) but I need to do Y in order to pay the bills.”
- “I wish I had a great relationship, but that can’t happen because XYZ.”
- “I need more money, but…”
- “I’d give anything to be healthier, but…?”
I’m here to tell you that what you see is what you get.
What does this mean?
What you say is what you See
It means that the things you say become the things you see. They become your reality.
The thoughts you keep repeating and feed with your emotional seal of approval are the blueprints that attract, repel and shape your circumstances.
The problem is that most of us have a huge disconnect between what we say, think, feel and do and our circumstances.
Why is that?
Most of us were not taught to understand the consequences of our acts. As children, we were trained in two schools of no-consequence.
The “spoiled” child: This child is not allowed to suffer the consequences of her actions because her parents ignore those consequences to palliate her. In other words, she has no guidance.
The controlled child: this child is not allowed to suffer the consequences of her actions because her parents protect her from or restrict her ability to make choices. Again, there is no guidance.
To learn consequences as children, we need to have been given the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. Our parents needed to give us age-appropriate leeway to make choices and then help us understand the consequences of these choices. This is the laboratory where we learn to make wise choices. This is how we learn freedom.
Since most of us were not given this freedom, but instead inducted into a consensus trance of how to act and punished if we did not act like that, is it a wonder that we now live as if life was happening to us and we had no choices?
We believe that:
- We have to do what we learned to do.
- What we want is less important than what we were told we had to do.
- What we dream is less real than what we are used to experiencing.
- Our goals can only be done in the ways in which everybody else is doing it.
Those beliefs place us in an impossible situation, where we are compelled to keep doing what we do not want, what does not work and what has been already proven NOT to work to reach our goals. That is a blueprint for failure.
We also believe that:
- We must succeed to prove our worth, but we should not take risk because that is not prudent.
- Embracing the freedom to do and be what we want, which is unfamiliar and new, is reckless and rigged with danger.
These beliefs steal our freedom and our power as creators and co-creators of life. We are instead left with obedience. We follow the herd, do as told and give away our power to the consensus trance.
These beliefs create an Inner War between our “should” and our “could” and between our “needs” and our “wants.”
And this is the core operation behind out constant “Yes, but” statements.
What we could do is sequestered by what we should do, according to our learned beliefs. It takes awareness, courage and change to free yourself from this Inner War.
What we need (our survival) is seen as threatened by what we want (our happiness, freedom and potential). We fight against our soul and imagination, against our very Essence to preserve our safety. Then we feel unsatisfied, cowardly and insufficient. This leads to addictive behavior, which is a placebo or a pain killer. But the disease is growing under that anesthetic.
How to change this?
Here are the four things you can do, in that order~ to dismantle this Inner War and become the creator of your life.
- Claim back your language.
- Own your thoughts and beliefs.
- Take Free-choices
- Identify as the creator
One: Claim back your language
Claim back your language by transmuting any type of “Yes, but” statement into an intention statement.
|I have to do this work in order to make a living.
|I’m doing this work while I find another way to make a living.
|I’d love to be doing X (your passion or purpose) but I need to do Y in order to pay the bills.
|I’m paying the bills now by doing X while I learn/discover how to pay my bills doing what I love.
|I wish I had a great relationship, but that can’t happen because XYZ.
|There is an aspect of me that believes that because XYZ I cannot have a great relationship, and I am willing to release this belief and create the relationship I want.
|I need more money, but… (Followed by the reason you can’t have it.)
|I need more money and (Followed by what you are doing or learning in order to get it.)
|I’d give anything to be healthier, but…?”
|I am doing XYZ to get healthier and I am willing to learn and practice until my health improves.
Do you hear the difference?
Column B establishes YOUR choice and intention. It lets YOU and the universe know your intent as a creator; and this sets a direction for the flow of life towards you. You are giving a different set of instructions to your Creation Partners above and below.
As you consistently change the way you speak, you transform. You change the way you see yourself, from victim to creator.
You also see the way you see your purpose and desires; from impossible to possible to probable to just around the corner.
Two: Own your thoughts and beliefs
This change of language will support your own Free-choices.
Now add the following transmutation:
Any time that you catch yourself using the old phrases (Colum A), track down the feelings, thoughts and beliefs behind it.
Transmute any belief that does not move you towards your purpose, intention and desire into a different belief that supports your dreams.
|I can only earn a living doing things the way most people do it.
|I can find my own way to earn a living. Thousands have done it and so can I.
|Be realistic. In order to pay the bills, you can’t be having fun doing X. You need to sweat it doing Y.
|Reality is what we make of it, and I am creating a reality where I can pay my bills doing X while being in delight.
|The relationship I dream of is impossible because most men (women) are XYZ.
|I am actively releasing my false beliefs so that I can attract and create the relationship I want.
|I can’t get more money because…
|I am able and willing to learn new ways of getting more money.
|I cannot be healthier because…
|My body is a self-healing organism and I am listening to it and learning how to help it return to harmony.
Three: Take Free-choices
The aforementioned alchemy requires conscious work from your part.
- You have to become aware of your habitual “Yes,but”.
- Then you have to stop yourself.
- Then you have to recognize the belief behind it.
- Then you have to shift the belief to a new, freely-chosen belief.
- Then you have to actively express that new belief in your words.
- Rinse and repeat.
- Over and over.
- Until you are no longer spewing learned limitations.
At that point, it becomes part of your lifestyle. It becomes easy.
At that point, you have changed.
What has changed is that you changed your intent.
Your intent before was to go along, to follow how others did it, to be obedient and do it the way you’d been taught, and to stay safe and avoid risk or the unknown.
But you changed your intention.
A lot of people believe that by repeating a new intention or even writing a new goal, they take care of this.
Far from true.
Intent is born in the Soul. It is defined by a strong desire, a clear purpose, a hungry longing and finally a fierce commitment.
But commitment is not created by “just talk” or wishing a different thing.
Not if you keep using the same language and doing the same things.
In changing your language, your thoughts and your beliefs, you have taken the Internal Actions to affirm, feed and strengthen your new intent.
You have changed Habit-choices into Free-choices.
Four: Identify as the creator
Identity is the deepest, more powerful layer of your subconscious mind. It overrides beliefs, habits and even values.
As you begin to change your story, you will feel the resistance of your Primary Identity, the identity that has absorbed other people’s labels and expectations and caked it over your Sacred Self like a mask. This is the Mask of Self, and most of us believe this to be who we are.
Your task now is to release this mask and access your Sacred Self.
Let go of all the “This is me” labels that dress you in what I call the Domestication Rags. Peel off each label, and a scrap of that rag falls of, revealing your brilliance.
As all the scraps fall, the light of your Essence and your Sacred Self illuminate the world and create a different life for yourself… and beyond that, a different universe for all.
|Mask of Self
|My gifts are not important and I will be rejected, so I can’t make money from my gifts.
|My gifts were given to me for a purpose and the Divine fully funds this purpose.
|I don’t deserve to be happy as I work. I need to sweat and struggle.
|I am creating a reality where I can pay my bills doing what I love while being in delight.
|I don’t deserve to be loved the way I want.
|I am a loving and lovable human being and deserve to be loved in a way that fills my heart.
|I don’t deserve to have more money because…
|I am able and willing to learn new ways of getting more money.
|I don’t deserve to be healthier because…
|I have the power to heal myself through Divine Grace and my body’s self-healing capacity.
You are perfect for your purpose just as you are right now.
Your dream is not something “out there” that you need to get. It is a part of you wanting to be expressed.
As you release the limited labels that have constricted your divinity, you connect at a deeper level with The Source and you are able to assume your Divine I am, your Sacred Self with its infinite potential.
Here’s a post that goes more in-depth into this task: