Are you a Slave
By Maria Mar(c)2010
Do you crown your limitations, becoming their loyal
If you are crowning your learned beliefs, fear-based emotions or habitual expectations and interpretations, then they become the Queen or King of your psyche, and you assign yourself the role of slave. This may seem unlikely, but it is in fact, fairly common. It is easy to see it in others, but very hard to see it in ourselves, and harder yet to change it.
Here I share some signs that you are crowning your limitations and some practical Shifts of Perceptions that may help you
Sign No. 1: Resistance
When you hear new concepts of explanations that seem impossible or strange to you, your immediate response is to counter them with your beliefs and opinions, using these as a shield to repel the new thoughts.
Shift No. 1: The Art of Receptivity
When you resist, you cannot receive. Whenever you encounter a different perspective of life, make a choice that there may be a hidden gift in this apparent opposition. Listen attentively. Open yourself to RECEIVE this new information. ASK extensively to make sure you understand it. ALLOW it to sink for a while and give yourself time to consider, or even research it further. You have the ultimate power to accept it or not, or to take whatever seems good to you from the presentation and weave it into your life.
Sign No. 2 Attachment
When you share your beliefs or perceptions, do you present them as they way you ARE, or as the way you see things right now?
• This is just the way I am
Shift No. 2: Detachment
Attachment binds you to the past. When you identify with explanations, concepts or beliefs, no matter how good you think they are, you are creating attachment. This energy pattern binds you to the past or to the known and familiar, obstructing your growth or freedom. Detach from your thoughts, opinions and beliefs. They are NOT you. They are simply thoughts and interpretations that can change without you being less valuable or wholesome.
Sign No. 3: Feelings of inadequacy
When you have nothing to say or do not know what to say or do not know what others are talking about, you feel stupid; so you begin to talk about what you know and want to channel the conversation that way, to go back to your Comfort Zone.
Shift No. 3: Centering
You are not what you know, do or say. Your value as a human being ~even your value as a professional~ is not determined by what you know, do or say. There are intrinsic values in who you are that are much more essential and powerful than this external parameters. Shift into your intrinsic value, your Basic Goodness and your Unique Essence. From that place, you can enjoy curiosity and wonder for new knowledge without feeling insufficient.
Sign No. 4: Competitiveness
You position yourself from the start in a power place by quoting from great people, showing off your book-knowledge, dropping names or listing your qualifications. You keep the game in your court by making others compete with you. When someone contributes with a new knowledge or thought that you may not understand or know about, you immediately quote a new book or concept and bring the game to your field.
Shift No. 4: Collaboration
Competition creates stress because it triggers the flight or fight response and ignites the chemistry of adrenaline. For many men this may be like a sport, and they may enjoy the sparring because that’s the way the sympathetic systems (the Male Way or your Shiva Power) is wired. But for most women and for creative men, this modality creates stress and lowers their energy level. Yes, you are putting them in the defensive mood and this may give you an illusion of victory. But consider: do you really want people to remember you as a source of stress? Do you think that when your peers see you as a threat, a person who’s always one-upping others and someone who does not share the spotlight, they will be more willing to recommend, hire or include you in their projects? The answer is no. Try instead to shift into a collaborative stance. Share the spotlight. Commend their insights. Receive their wisdom. Become a source of support, inspiration and resources. This is a place of true power, as you are not coming from defensiveness or hunger for attention, but from your core strength and a place of collaboration.
Sign No. 5: Fear-based expectations
When you speak your truth, share your creativity or present your solutions, you feel exposed and vulnerable. To offset this feeling, you wrap your presentation in an envelope of excuses, justifications, quotes from authorities, statistics or pre-emptive attacks for those whom you expect will attack you.
Shift No. 5: The Art of Vulnerability
Any good writer or actor knows this: people don’t like perfect characters. They love characters that are vulnerable and flawed, but who are trying their best. Become a great character in your own life by allowing yourself to be vulnerable. However, do not play victim or offer yourself as bate. Allow your Unique Essence and genuine qualities to shine through that vulnerability without playing stupid. Release your negative expectations and fuel your positive expectations by inspiring others to their best while doing your best.
Sign No. 6: Control Addiction
You need to be in control. If a conversation goes into a direction that is new to you or in which you do not excel, you feel very uncomfortable and immediately act to bring it into a field that you can control. If what you present is not accepted, you feel that you are losing control and you feel compelled to keep trying to convince others or find other means of staying in control. If others gain the spotlight, you feel that they are taking control away from you and you attack them or feel rejected.
Shift No. 6: Surrender
Release the patriarchal definition of power as control. Control creates an exclusionary perception of power that does not allow power to be shared. If you have it, I lost it. Become a Power-sharer. Find ways in which you can tap into each person’s power to enhance them as you spotlight yours. When others are shining, acknowledge their brilliance. It takes one to know another. When you acknowledge others’ powers, you are showcasing yours.
Your interpretation colors your perception. Your perception creates your world by affecting how you respond to any situation, and hence, the results. Free yourself from the limitations in your perception, and the sky is the limit for you!
This package contains the guided experience and tools you need to break from limiting beliefs. It helps you track down how you inherited false beliefs from your family dynamics. Journal writing, movement meditations and arts & crafts projects in the workbook help you track down and release false beliefs.
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About Maria Mar
Maria Mar is an author, speaker and ceremonialist poet.
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