Jun 022015

Choose the interaction you want: Monologue or Conversation?

No one loves criticism. But as a shaman (and as an actress, writer and entrepreneur) I have learned to welcome it and to open my mind and heart to receive that unexpected feedback that allows me to see something that I am missing now and that can enrich my creations, expand my reach and even help me attract more and better clients.

In fact, among professional performers and writers a bad reaction to criticism is seen as a sign that you are an  amateur. Professionals listen deeply to their fans, directors, readers, editors and other commenters to find ways in which they can improve their creation.

This does not mean that they are going to cater to all criticism.

A professional knows that she has the power to CHOOSE what critic she will accept and which one she will ignore. That allows her to grow as a professional. She is not giving away her power.

When you master your field or trade, you know what works and what does not. You also may know that something is missing, but can’t put your finger on it. And you are always seeking to grow, to expand and to cultivate that surprising angle that enriches your work.

That is why you welcome observations, criticism and feedback that ~while at first may rub your ego the wrong way~ may yield a rich insight.

Your fear of rejection, judgment and criticism is the real culprit here. This fear-based interpretation is the real enemy of your success. That Inner Enemy holds you back ~not the criticism of others.

When someone speaks directly, honestly, respectfully and without blaming you and expresses dissatisfaction or a different opinion or points out to a potential problem or weakness in what you do ~If I were you~ I’d receive them with a welcoming smile and invite them into a deeper conversation. Ask them to speak their mind and listen carefully to what they say. Then thank them.

Now write down everything they said as well as you can…and let it go.

Come back to it later and examine it for gold nuggets. You will find great treasures!

  • You have the power to decide to act on a criticism or not.
  • But if you label everyone who ventures an opinion that does not suit you as a Naysayer or Hater, that is not empowerment. That is denial.
  • It is also a disrespect to your readers, audiences or Soul Tribe.What do you want, zombies that like everything you do and do not have a mind of their own? Do you want them to buy from you but never tell you how your offers are impacting them? Do you want them to nod their heads in response to all you say because you are smart and they are dumb?
  • Watch out for your ego. It is seldom your amigo!

This reminds me of the subject of an email campaign I received from a couple of affiliate marketers last week. They were selling some marketing offer, but I never clicked to see the video. Why? Here was the titled they chose for their email:

Email subscribers turn into Zombies?

And here are the first words in their emails:

“I’m guessing you opened this email because the subject line got your attention 🙂

Well good…

Because if you haven’t seen this viral traffic video yet – go watch it now!

It’s a clever way for turning each subscriber into viral ZOMBIES of unstoppable traffic.”


They actually guessed wrong. Their title did not intrigue me. It repelled me!

I ignored their subject line until I got three of the same and then I opened the email to confirm if ~as the subject matter implied~ they were so disrespectful of their potential clients. I did not want to assume anything. So I opened and saw that in fact, they were continuing the metaphor because they were seeing potential visitors and subscribers as a user sees them. They wanted zombies. They wanted unthinking, easily manipulated people.

And that is why I did NOT click. That is not the crowd I want to hang out with.

If this is what you want, then keep thinking that any criticism is an injury to your perfect offer. This will repel honest people and attract the zombies to you.

I prefer to attract intelligent, honest people who know what they want and will let me know.

That’s the type of friends I like and that’s the type of clients, readers and audiences that I want.

If that is also what you want, then learn to love, even look for honest feedback, reviews and critics and you will never be held back by fear again.


Next: In short, here’s what to do.

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About Maria Mar

Maria Mar is a Sacred Storyteller and shaman who champions you to change your old limiting story to create the new story of your brilliance illuminating the world. She helps you awaken your magic, express your creative genius, embody your purpose and live your potential now.